Learning how to BE with uncomfortable feelings.

July 21, 2020

 

“View all emotion as energy in motion”  

- Michael L. Brown -

 

All emotions are essentially “energy in motion”.  They are neither good nor bad; they are energy.   

 

Our emotions are not part of who we truly are, even though they may feel like it sometimes.  They rise, they fall and they change just as the weather.  Emotions can be short lived or long lasting.  They can come and go in an instant or impact us for quite some time.  

 

I like to think of emotions as a language and as all forms of communication, they desire to be listened to.  Our feelings are our internal compass, they have the ability to guide us.  Although some feelings can be uncomfortable to experience they are the GPS of the soul and without them we are driving blind.

 

As children many of us were taught to bottle up and suppress what we felt but if we think of feelings as an internal language trying to communicate to us, they become a strength rather than a weakness.

 

The emotions we feel each day can compel us to take action and influence the decisions we make, they help us understand and empathise with others, warn us in dangerous situations, point us in the right direction, help us connect with each other and they show us the things that matter to us the most.  

 

Psychologists suggest that we are driven by two connected motivations: to feel pleasure and avoid pain.  We don’t usually have a problem embracing emotions that we deem more pleasant; love, happiness, joy, and excitement but we often struggle with fear, sadness, anger, anxiety and regret. 

 

Sometimes instead of letting emotional energy flow through us we chase the things that make us feel good and repeat patterns of behaviour that produce those good feelings.  And we run away from the things that make us feel bad, burying our emotions deep inside so we don’t have to feel them. 

 

We are allowed to feel what ever it is that we are feeling. 

We need to learn to tune into emotion

rather than blocking it out or shutting it down. 

 

We all have “something” that leads us to feeling excessively stressed, angry, pained or upset.  We can’t avoid these things but we can learn how to manage how we respond more effectively.  

 

Emotional intelligence is recognising, understanding and responding to the emotions we experience; slowing down, allow ourselves to feel by making a conscious effort to welcome all emotions without judgment, identifying what it is that we are feeling, acknowledging those feelings, and moving forward in a way that honours those feelings in order to release the emotional energy and let them go. 

 

When our hearts are open we allow 

emotions to move through us.

 

 

Slow down, breathe and relax

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” - Rumi

 

Take a moment to connect with your body

and shift your focus into the area of your heart. 

Begin to breathe slowly - Inhale, hold, and exhale. 

As you slow your breathing, you are sending a signal to your body

that you are in a place that is safe and it’s okay

to turn your attention inward.

 

Observe 

Allow yourself to feel by making a conscious effort to welcome all emotions without judgment.  Tune in and observe what you are experiencing.

 

Allow yourself to turn inward and 

notice what you are experiencing within your body. 

Pay attention to your heart beat, energy level, temperature, 

emotions, and any tension you may be holding.  

Where are these sensations located 

– in your head, throat, chest, shoulders, stomach?

Does the physical sensation move or shift?

Notice how it makes you feel 

– nauseous, calm, relaxed, tense, heavy or light, pushed or pulled? 

Are there any thoughts with the emotions 

– try to be aware of them curiously, without judgment.

 

 

Acknowledge and Identify

 

 “What am I feeling? What is this emotion?”

See if you can identify them… if you can’t just be aware of them.

“What is it telling me I need? What do I need to do?”

 

Our thoughts, feelings and physical sensations are not seperate but intertwined and together they provide us with our own inner guidance.  As we explore and acknowledge them, we allow ourselves to become aware and familiar with their messages.

 

 

Release and Let it go.

Holding onto heavy emotions will only extend our suffering.  Holding onto pain, stress and anger doesn’t fix anything or stop it from hurting.  Replaying things over and over, wishing that it were different doesn’t magically make it happen.  

 

We need to accept whatever it is that we are feeling, make peace with it and let it go.  Forgive ourselves for our mistakes and forgive others for the mistakes they have made.  It’s ok to feel hurt, angry and sad even if it feels difficult to experience.  Accept it, feel it, process it, free yourself and move forward.

 

Emotional energy comes in through our heart, our brain, and our senses and we send it out through our bodies; our mouths, our hands, our feet and movements.

 

Some of the best forms of release are breathing, intention, talking, writing, movement, singing, creating, being in nature, releasing through meditation and taking action.

 

 

When you feel the heaviness creeping in practice slowing down,

pause and take the opportunity to tune in. 

Be in the moment, close your eyes,

relax your mind and connect with your heart.

 

 

 

 

 

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